She is a grand aunt on my father’s side. She lives by herself in a flat in the heart of the city, does her own cooking and gets around in autos to temples, banks, relatives, all on her own mostly. She has done this for nearly 25 odd years since her husband passed away. She doesn’t have children. She regularly calls relatives to lunch and takes great pleasure in laying out an elaborate (decidedly hign calorie!) spread.
She gave away all her jewellery after her husband’s demise. When she was in her seventies, she sold the family home, an old fashioned independent mini bungalow, and got an apartment block constructed. She finalized all the commercial and legal negotiations on her own with some support from her late husband’s brother. She lives in this apartment now and is great friends with the other occupants. She is in touch with all wings of her family and till a few years back even went on pilgrimages with them or with friends. She still does these mini ones around the city. She has written her will (and rewritten it a couple of times J) very clearly demarcating what will go to charity, how her last rites should be performed and what should be done with her personal belongings.
She had not been formally schooled in her childhood and was married when she was in her early teens. Her husband, considerably older than her, was the really old fashioned kind with a fiery temper. She was quite ‘scared’ of him and was always on her toes to ‘serve’ him. Not that she was timid or was victimized, but the husband-wife relationship was very different then. (How much we crib about our lives and status of marital relationships now!) But after his time, she came into her own. All that she has done and is doing now, living life on her own terms, is hardly the result of any formal education. Life is one big school, indeed. I think she picked up some English by reading newspapers. I am not sure she can write in English though. Numbers, she is great with them ofcourse. How else would she manage her finances so prudently all these years with income only from some pension and good investments?
She does hold old wordly views on many things, especially on relationships. Particularly, on the roles of a daughter in law and her (DIL’s) parents in the family. She expects and gets the kind of respectful treatment someone of her generation is used to. When I was younger, I’ve been totally put off with her bossy behavior with my mother because you see my mother is a DIL of the family. She does that even now :). But on the whole, she has a progressive outlook and has changed gracefully with the times.
Her zest for life and high spirits sustain her. I have never heard her complain about loneliness or the burden of responsibility of dealing with things on her own. Her only regret used to be that she did not have the pleasure of children. Over time, she stopped agonizing about that too. Her inspiration is her own grandmother, a woman of the 19th century, who raised her and innumerable other grandchildren, with the women who gave birth to these children dying young. Her fervent wish has been to emulate her grandmother who lived to 93 years of age. And, she turns 95 years old tomorrow! Happy Birthday, K!